Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
