I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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