im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
