it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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