so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
