i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
