I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
