You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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