Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
