Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
