Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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