we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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