Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
