It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
