Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
