Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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