pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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