fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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