I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The Olympian is in my bed
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
