you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize