Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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