Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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