Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
