Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Randomize
