He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
