D3 body, D1 cock
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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