I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
