Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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