did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
