He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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