Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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