If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
