I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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