He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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