Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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