You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
