Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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