Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
