I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
