$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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