FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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