This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
