She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I want her autograph on my taint
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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