Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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