pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
