I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
