Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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