Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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