And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
