I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
