I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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